Dear The Battle Royale,

            I am black. Do you realize that? I want you to know I have already filed a complaint with the ACLU and BET and have spoken with Al Sharpton’s representative in regards to your racist and abusive disregard for my inquiries. I would like to know if the people in Minnesota have ever heard of slavery? And if so, do they care? Do you know what racial inequality means? Because I promise you are about to. The next letter you receive will be from my lawyer. And the one after that will be from Rolling Stone Magazine. They’ve agreed to mediate in a joint discussion between us on the issue of racism in pop music in America. On the other hand, I feel Rolling Stone might probably understand how this was all a big misunderstanding if you were to send me that tape deck from your video. This was a big misunderstanding wasn’t it?

Sincerely,

John Longo