Dear The Battle Royale,

            I am going to come to Minnesota and kill you all. You are the most self-obsessed, ungrateful, untalented pieces of shit I have ever seen on YouTube. I hope you rot and die, but not until after I’ve already come and killed you. Please do not send me that tape deck. I will just collect it after I’ve come over there to Minnesota and killed you. Also, if you do not have the tape deck anymore, could you please let me know who has it and give me their address? That would be great. Thanks.

Best,

John Longo