the bedspread is shockingly ugly. the hallways are carpeted with a spectacular pattern of neon jugs and plants. the pool area is a vast expanse of cement and two tiny little pools packed with the bronzed bodies of people meat-marketing and drinking. the hotel is a dump and the armoire is edged with gilt. the casino is a bleak, dark, freezing monument to depression. the bars are twenty-four hours and full of drunks and depressives. the mall attached to the hotel is a circle of things to consume. there are people looking desperate and people looking bored and a man with a three-foot drink strapped to his chest with a straw in his mouth holding hands with his girlfriend, and no one appears to be buying anything. dinner was only passable and we waited an hour for a cab that never came, because we ventured beyond the strip to eat at a restaurant that was supposed to be wonderful and was not, though a very nice waiter finally drove us back to the hotel at midnight, poor guy. we paid him, anyway. so my plans of lying by the pool reading are thwarted, as there is no shade anywhere in the pool area and all the lounge chairs by the pool are taken anyway and i would bake myself completely and not be able to see my book for the sun. so there is no way to get any sunlight at all, except through the miniature window in the hideous room, which barely lets in any light at all so it is dark and many-patterned in here. the only saving graces are the gym and the spa. which are sort of dumpy but at least quiet. so i will try to kill an entire day there.

have you ever been to vegas? everyone told me i would love it. i have no earthly idea what they are talking about. at least megan will be here for the next two days so we will venture out onto the strip to explore all the weirdness, and at least there will be sunlight out there. and then we are going to a lot of good restaurants, ones that are in the vicinity so we will not get stranded. and then on wednesday we are moving to the bellagio, which thank god has an art gallery, a botanical gardens, and a lake, and hopefully the pool will be nice, and the rooms are not dumpy, so the rest of the week will not be too horrifying. i hold out hope that i will be able to lie in the sunshine and read one of the many books i brought. this is not a good place to vacation, no matter what anyone says. i would give anything to be in new york, or wine country, or mexico, or virtually anywhere at all other than here.

and that is my bitch-fest for the day. to top it off, i can't even sit in the room and read, because my eyes are fucked and i can't see the words. i can't see the words i am writing, either, so please forgive the typos.

how are you, my dear?

love and hogs,


(a.k.a. Marya Hornbacher)