Explain your project to me as if I was a person who was not into the internet. Eeueh.

Then explain the Groupdraw Public to kids. OK. I’d say “Don’t you want to draw with your friends at the same time? Won’t that be fun? I don’t mean on your own piece of paper separately. I mean right on top of each other’s stuff. Maybe at the same time. Then when your friends are not around, you can sneak back and change their drawings. They’ll be so surprised when they come back. You can do it from anywhere there’s a computer.”

No, really talk to me like I’m a fifth-grader. Actually, you do kind of look like a 5^th grader.

No, like how do we get to draw together? You get on your computer. Then you go to this site, www.coldbacon.com/groupdraw/ and start drawing with the draw tools.

Who else gets to draw? You never know, and that’s also fun. You could tell a friend to get on with you at the same time. Or somebody you don’t know could just be there.

Could I draw with famous people? Probably.

Or with my girlfriend? It’s been known to happen. Wait, you shouldn’t have a girlfriend, you’re in 5^th grade. Is it serious?

Why is it called the Groupdraw Public? Super Public, actually. Because you’re not just drawing online by yourself. What you see on your screen could be being projected in real-time, anywhere. 

Like Where? People could be walking on top of them on the sidewalk. The sides of buildings, alleyways, underneath bridges. Perhaps behind a rack of shirts at a Gucci store, or even on Fox News Network, instead of Bill O’Reilly. You just don’t know, who could be watching.

It’s basically like you’re alone in the room with your pants off, and you feel pretty good about it. Except, yes, there are 20 people standing around in some church talking about you.

Why would I want that? I know! Right?

Won’t you get in trouble? It’s just light.

Do you have to get permission to do that? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends where we set up.

Who’s setting up and tending all the projectors? People. I’ve got lots of names and addresses. I’ve been doing internet stuff for a long time. You could say for the last nine years, I’ve been “gathering fuel for vacant lots.”

What’s the TS Eliot reference about? I think we’re done here.

Cheating