I remain ever optimistic about finding a spot on The New Yorker column 'Shouts and Murmers.' They're always looking for young unpublished writers. Harper's too. The New York Times is just waiting for the right time to respond to the inquiry I made two years ago. I got this response from the Timberland Shoe Company. No mention of my piece, however.
Rejection can also be enjoyed through email—from the L.A. Weekly:From Ron Athey
To: me
Date: Friday, October 26, 2001 1:42 PM
Subject: rejecting you
Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately the material you sent does not suit our needs. Thanks for considering The Weekly.
Best
Ron Athey
Assistant to the Editor
Just wait...From meDifferent day...
To: Cross X Connect Magazine
Date: Sat, Jul 13, 2002 at 02:40:18AM -0400
Subject: submissions guidelines
without rules, everything would clearly be upside down. people would be submitting in all sorts of awful ways. so could i please have some very harsh submission guidelines.
- bacon
From X-Connect MagazineSame day...
To: me
Date: Monday, July 15, 2002 3:58 PM
Subject: submissions guidelines
Thanks for your interest in the magazine. You will find our submission guidelines below. We hope to hear from you soon.
Best,
Brian Cope Assistant Editor, CrossConnect MagazineFrom meLater..
To: X-Connect Magazine
Date: Jul 15, 2002 at 07:09:04PM -0500,
Subject: submissions guidelines
dear sirs,
i am interested in submitting 1 page social commentary/essays/non-fiction to your publication. i first wanted make sure email submissions are okay and this is the right email. i am under the impression the answer to both my questions is yes. also, would it be possible for me to submit these without much of a personal statement.1
- bacon
1 Their submission guidelines ask for a personal statement.From X-Connect MagazineContinuity of care...
To: me
Date: Wednesday, July 24, 2002 11:22 PM
Subject: submissions guidelines
Bacon,
This is the correct email and we prefer submissions to be sent via email with a subject line indicating the type of submission (in your case 'non-fiction' would apply). No autobiographical information is necessary. Looking forward to reading your submission.
Sincerely,
Brian Cope
Assistant Editor, CrossConnect MagazineFrom X-Connect MagazineLook, would somebody please just put me out of my...
To: me
Date: Tuesday, March 18, 2003 7:26 PM
Subject: RE: submission - non-fiction
Hello,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, before we can finish processing your piece, we need your complete information: your phone and address, a brief bio, etc... Also, a working title for your piece would also be greatly appreciated. In case you do not already have it, I am including a copy of our submission guidelines below. Please resend your submission in a reply to this email (or simply include the original text in your reply) with the above information. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Monica Park
Assistant editor, XconnectFrom X-Connect MagazineTwo months turnaround. Nothing but a thang. I used to would write back some fiery reply like "Yeah, obviously. Because it was good." I don't do that anymore.
To: me
Date: Wednesday, May 21, 2003 2:46 PM
Subject: re: "I Smell Books," submitted 2003-04-26
Mr Bacon:
Thank you for your submission, "I Smell Books," submitted 2003-04-26. Unfortunately we are unable to use your piece at this time.
Thank you again for your submission, and we welcome your continued submissions in the future.
Best regards,
Michael Schwartz
Managing Editor, Xconnect Magazine
- If you're looking for Don Hertzfeldt's cartoon, Rejected, try here.
From: Gary P < gspot@mississippireview.com >
To: B acon < cutlet@oldbacon.com >
Date: Thursday, September 05, 2002 7:06 AM
Subject: your essay
I regret to say that we are not able to use your submission in the upcoming Movie Issue of the MR.
|
MR: might read it MR: mitral regurge CB: could be better CB: could be blacker |
Best,
Gary P, Editor
MR
I submitted something to Dave Eggers once.From: Dave Eggers
To: Me
Date: Sat, 27 Jul 2002 13:27:54
Subject: your essay
Has this piece been published before elsewhere?
Dave
From: Me (excited)
To: Dave Eggers
Date: Sun, 28 Jul 2002 13:27:54
Subject: my essay
No.
From: Dave Eggers
To: Me
Date: Sun, 28 Jul 2002 14:29:4
Subject: your essay
Figures.
Best,
Dave
P a u l ' s B o u t i q u e
From Paul
To: Me
Date: Tuesday, March 04, 2003 3:23 AM
Subject: I understand...
...why you're writing, but if you want your writing to be something that it
isn't now (ie fiction or an essay as defined by most magazines) you have
to think about it more. You have to add a layer of complexity and
self-referentiality that is not explicit — or rather, your writing has to
be self-conscious without being self-referential at all. You have to find
a way to get across all the funny little self-deprecating asides without
actually writing them, and trust your readers to pick them up and give you
credit for intending them to be there. Is what I meant.
From: urban chic
To: me
Date: Monday, June 09, 2003 11:52 AM
Subject: re: missouri review
I think - your stuff won't get published unless it's in something truly underground - because the style is too far from standard for them to be willing. Unless you choose to imitate the standard style, which I'm sure you don't want to do. If you thought it was worth it to give your ideas more exposure, you might consider it - but it's of course a trade off.
From: Dan Kreiss <@12gauge.com
To: me
Date: Thursday, April 10, 2003 10:13 PM
Subject: Re: Film Reviews
No need to sell out. If what you have written is insightful, well conceived and written, and above all, interesting, than send them to me directly. We are not looking for any one particular style or film to be reviewed, more originality of voice and content.
Best,
Dan
From: Sarah Gordon
To: me
Date: Thursday, August 07, 2003 1:38 PM
Subject: ik neem een 40 of olde e, alsjeblieft
Dear Mr. Film,
I regret to inform you that your Anthony Lane essay has been rejected, for the following reason(s):
Too highbrow for my taste.
I wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
SKMHG
From: Meryl Pacana
To: me
Date: Thursday, August 06, 2003 1:33 AM
Subject: can't come visit you
i did.
but now (predictably?) i am not so sure about going to ________ .
to tell you the truth, it just doesn't feel like a good thing.
not to be a meany, but still. i don't think i can go.
M
From: Paul McRandle
To: me
Date: Tuesday, September 16, 2003 12:02 PM
Subject: Hypermedia Submission - from Cold Bacon
Thanks for your submission to 3rd bed
Submission 1: I like the images in this but don't think it is right for 3rd bed.
Submission 2: Upon loading, I just got a blank, white page in IE for Mac. I might check it in Mactella if I feel like it.
Best,
Paul
If, after the film, the air outside
If, after the film, the air outside the theater seems especially clean and fresh, it is not only from relief at escaping the cracker-barrel humanism, it's the restorative power of normal, uncoerced perspective: it's a little like coming out of a loony bin. A boy's agonies should not be dwelt on so lovingly: being misunderstood may easily become the new glamorous lyricism. With East of Eden, Hollywood has caught up with the main line of American avant-garde cinema—those embarassingly autoerotic twelve-minute masterpieces in which rejected, inexplicable, and ambiguous figures are photographed in tortured chiaroscuro, films which exude symbolism as if modern man were going to find himself by chasing the shadow of an alter ego in a dark alley. When alienation is exploited for erotic gratification, film catches up with the cult realities of city parks and Turkish baths, clear meanings or definite values would be too grossly explicit—a vulgar intrusion on the Technicolor night of the soul. — Pauline Kael
Um (is it one um or two?)