William Manuel Normal William Manuel 6 65 1999-10-15T23:23:00Z 1999-10-16T02:35:00Z 3 1195 6815 Ubriaco Inc. 56 13 8369 9.2720 125 0 0

 

Crappy Poetry



We have kept the original margins to preserve authenticity

Poem One

 

>X-PH: V4.1@cornell.edu (Cornell Modified)
>From: "CrappyPoetry.com" <Scott@CrappyPoetry.com>
>Date: Thu, 16 Sep 1999 09:12:57 -0500
>Subject: CrappyPoetry.com presents...The Watching Hour
>To: skg8@cornell.edu (Sarah Katherine Gordon)
>Sender: Scott@CrappyPoetry.com
>Reply-To: Scott@CrappyPoetry.com
>X-Mailer: LightningMail v0.62c (c)1999 fVast.
>Organization: Crappy Poetry International
>
>Good day to all and welcome to the Thursday edition of the Crappy Poem of
the Day.  We are excited to announce
>that today's selected poem is from Alan Rose, the author of a previous
Crappy Poem entitled "Dances With
>Wasps."  It should be noted that Alan is the first poet to have two poems
published by http://CrappyPoetry.com We
>feel that this speaks volumes about the crappy quality of his work. 
>
>As some of you may remember, Alan is from England.  It is so nice to add
an international flavor to our collection of
>crappy verse.  In honor of mother England, we intend to drive home tonight
on the wrong side of the road.  And now,
>the poem...

>The Watching Hour
>
>Soft breaks the moonlight
>on your pillow,
>Dancing through your hair,
>My heart runs fast
>as I sit still
>to watch you sleeping there.
>
>When moonbeams fade
>I fly with daybreak,
>At your side no more.
>Oh! How I wish you
>were my girl friend,
>And not the man next door.
>
>Submitted by  Alan Rose

>
___________________________________________________________________


>Let's see what our resident critics are saying about "The Watching Hour."
>
>"It's fantastic to see a male poet unencumbered by society's artificially
imposed rules regarding gender as it relates
>to the appreciation of beauty.  We see the 'Watcher' bravely embrace his
feminine side even as he longs for a more
>traditional female subject for his admiration ."
>-Marie Solo
>Marie@CrappyPoetry.com
>
>" I hope this doesn't mean Alan has gone 'Somewhere over the Rainbow.'"
>-Chuck Farley
>Chuck@CrappyPoetry.com
>____________________________________________________________________

 


>Again, thanks to Alan for his fine piece.  Per his request, his $3.00
prize will be in the form of a cold one waiting for
>him at an airport bar here in the States.  His only condition is that it
not be anywhere near the Altantic coast.  Come
>now, Alan.  Your countrymen survived the Battle of Britain.  What would
Churchill say about this attitude toward a
>mere hurricane?
>
>Tomorrow's poem of the day could be yours!  Submit your crap now at
http://CrappyPoetry.com

 



Poem Two

 

>X-PH: V4.1@cornell.edu (Cornell Modified)
>From: "CrappyPoetry.com" <Scott@CrappyPoetry.com>
>Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 09:35:49 -0500
>Subject: CrappyPoetry.com presents..."The Value of X"
>To: skg8@cornell.edu (Sarah Katherine Gordon)
>Sender: Scott@CrappyPoetry.com
>Reply-To: Scott@CrappyPoetry.com
>X-Mailer: LightningMail v0.62c (c)1999 fVast.
>Organization: Crappy Poetry International
>
>Coming to you live, from the overpriced and poorly lit offices of
http://CrappyPoetry.com it's the Crappy Poem of the
>Day.
>
>Today's poem is from Kristin.  She didn't submit her last name, perhaps to
protect herself from the instant fame that
>comes from being selected as the Crappy Poet of the Day.  Who knows if her
first name is even Kristin?  Who
>knows if she's even a female...or if she even wrote this poem?
>
>Since we have no other information to go on, let's just imagine Kristin as
being 24 years old, 5 foot 10 inches tall,
>135 pounds,  tossing her silky hair over her shoulder as we read her
crappy poem entitled,
 
 
>The Value of X
>
>Counting on my fingers
>Beneath my desk
>To avoid the superior stares
>Of those who can count
>In their heads.
>
>English and math
>Merging to make x
>Make up your mind
>Do I read you
>Or count you?
>
>Do you feel bad
>That you only have dumb words
>Like x-ray and xylophone
>Given to you?
>
>Wake up X,
>You no longer mark the spot
>No one likes you anymore
>Little x
>
>Submitted by Kristin
 
________________________________________________________________________
 
>Let's see what the critics are saying about "The Value of X..."
>
>"Kristin has struck a chord with her audience...'The Value of X' is about
the unknown and the natural human
>tendency to fear the madness and randomness of our world.  Kristin's voice
shouts above the din of the chaos...she
>is a prophet, a seer, and yes, a poet."
>
>~Marie Solo
>Marie@CrappyPoetry.com
>
>"Instead of 3 dollars let's send her a handful of change and see if she
can count it."
>
>-Chuck Farley
>Chuck@CrappyPoetry.com
________________________________________________________________________
 
Kristin, your $3.00 in nice, crisp bills is on the way.  We hope that you
will put it to good use...perhaps treating
>yourself to lunch.  Let's see if a bean tostada is 79 cents, how many
tostadas could Kristin have for lunch with her
>crappy $3.00 prize?
>
>.79(x)=3
>
>Good luck.
>
>Tune in tomorrow for the next installment of The Crappy Poem of the Day.
Be sure to submit your poem at
>http://CrappyPoetry.com
>
>And now, our sponsor...
>
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listings, weather, classifieds, chat.
 

 

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