The Weapons of Mass Destruction Rant

* I didn't put Saddam Hussein in the custom.dic for my spell checker, but Word seems to recognize it, and in doing so, sanctions the legitimacy of the regime. This is an outrage! I'm outraged! Maybe Word 2001 will have Elian Gonzales in the dictionary. But that wouldn't be so bad, because I can't really imagine writing anything without at least one reference to little guy.
This is the most annoying term ever. I'd like to mass destroy whoever thought of this wretched phrase, which will now be with us forever, or at least until we are mass destroyed. One must take care to choose non-annoying terms in the beginning of new eras. Information superhighway-now there's a sparkler. But take independent films-an excellent term, which describes precisely what it is-an independent film. See how good it is? And it can be nicely shortened to indie as in "That was the freshest indie I've seen since Quentin Tarantino stubbed his toe and inadvertantly directed Pulp Fiction." We demand that you move those weapons of mass destruction, a little further away from us. Is there some reason we can't just call them what they are? "Biological weapons," or "nasty weapons" or even "terrorist bullshit." Weapons of mass destruction are, of course, nuclear weapons (that's new-cular if you're related to Trent Lott, the most educable person in the history mankind, Trent Lott's brain being the world's other weapon of mass destruction. Trent Lott, who spends most of his time outside Washington doing stand-up to entertain migrant farm workers and their families). He's good too. Here, let's use it in a sentence. "If Saddam Hussein keeps doing that terrorist bullshit, we'll have no alternative whatsoever." 4/7/00

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