Dear The Battle Royale,

My friend saw your video on YouTube and she really wants that tape deck you have in it. I have no idea if you guys are any good or not. I mean I like some new music. Like I got that first Strokes CD when it came out. But I was just kind of wondering about the fact that you guys are in Minnesota and everything. Have there even been any serious bands from there? I can’t think of any. Not off the top of my head at least. I mean I’m not saying that means you’re not any good. I’m just, well. You know. You understand? And then there’s the whole issue of what if you just flame out. You know, like you’ll be big for a little while, then flame out. And what kind of name is The Battle Royale? Sounds Canadian if you ask me. Also you do know there’s a very popular wrestling thing on TV called that? You know you really should think about that in case you get hit with some  lawsuit or something. I’m just saying. Hell I don’t even know if you’re a real band. That happens you know, sometimes, with YouTube and stuff. You guys could just be some college kids playing some prank on me. Is this even a real address I’m writing to? Anyway, if it is, please send that tape recorder to me at 422 Bradford St., Bronx, NY 10451. And if you could do it by next Tuesday that would be great.

            Yours Cordially,

            John Longo