French Toast Cereal
This is a cereal that can be smelled from across the room. The cereal that launched a hundred ships—the other way. Does it have sugar? I can answer that. I was pouring some into a bowl, when suddenly it stopped coming out of the box. I looked inside and discovered the entire contents had stuck together forming one large clump. That was a first.

"It was like eating air," said 9 year old Timmy Jones. [23 cents/oz]

Frosted Mini-Wheats
I've seen more T.V. ads for this cereal than any other cereal I can think of. And yet somehow I managed to resist the temptation—until now. Once the initial burst of powdered sugar wears off, the only flavor they really have is that of life. No, not the thing that we’re all doing right now. I mean, Life, the cereal. The difference being that FMWs are covered in strange powdered sugar. Philosophical gesture? Or wasted calories. You decide. I already have.

Grape Nuts Flakes
Everything Grape Nuts isn’t. They’re not crunchy or tiny or fun. They don’t explode inside you. They do get soggy on contact with milk. So soggy. There really is nothing to recommend about this cereal. Conforms to bowl? Better than starvation?