you sound like my other roommate.  i stopped her from asking me by telling short stories with no point.  like these:

when i was 15 or so, my friend & i lied to both our parents and said there was a school trip to sf.  we saved up, flew there and checked into a seedy motel.  it was on the corner of that seedy motel that i got my first kiss.  from a bum.  no tongue.  but not because he wasn't trying. 

once upon a time, i used to have long hair.  people always said, you have such beautiful hair.  including my ex-gynecologist who paid the compliment while my feet were up in the air.  i mean, uh, how long have you been growing it? but we all knew the damage was done.