you sound like my other roommate. i stopped her from asking me by telling short stories with no point. like these:
when i was 15 or so, my friend & i lied to both our parents and said there was a school trip to sf. we saved up, flew there and checked into a seedy motel. it was on the corner of that seedy motel that i got my first kiss. from a bum. no tongue. but not because he wasn't trying.
once upon a time, i used to have long hair. people always said, you have such beautiful hair. including my ex-gynecologist who paid the compliment while my feet were up in the air. i mean, uh, how long have you been growing it? but we all knew the damage was done.