So I'm at the barnes and noble and I already know I'm going to have trouble finding the author I wish to find. This just happened an hour or so ago. So at this particular B&N they don't have the little keyboard/monitor jobbies where you can look stuff up yourself, so I go to the info desk, where there are two lackeys (or, "laqueys" as for some reason is the version in my translated copy of The Shooting Party*). I ask them both where I can find the author, Neil Gaiman, and I say the last name to rhyme with "guy man." One of the guys turns to me and says "Music?" because he misunderstood me to have said "Neil Diamond." Ha ha ha everyone gets a good chuckle in. But, I realize, and I say at that point out loud, that I don't actually know whether I'm saying the man's name right. It could be "Gay man." I don't know, and neither do the lackeys. So I go, "Let's just say it 'Guy man.' You know?" Because if the guy's straight (as is painfully obvious from his press photos) he might like it not said the other way. No one's really paying attention to me at this point; one of the doods is busy looking up the name in the computer and the other one went off somewhere to tidy a stack. As they say. So I sort of wait around, mumbling to myself about "what is the difference, really, between 'sci-fi' and 'fantasy'?" And as the one guy is looking at his computer screen he's reading names of books out to me, only I don't know what they all are, so he reads the blurbs. "There's this one about the 'land of faerie'," and I go, "Oh right! He *did* write that one as 'Gayman,' ha ha ha!" And the guy goes, "What?" And I go, "That was a little joke. That was my little joke." And as I say that I realize that the other, stack-straightening guy, somewhere nearby and possibly still within hearing distance, is gay. Which of course I'd seen instantly when I'd first approached the kiosk but I'm so non-judgmental and so totally open to the rainbow of humanity that I'd put it out of my mind instantly, in order to make room for the gay joke later.
Yes this really happened.