Diary of a Madman

Every self-published internet author has a diary. Why should I be different? Except for one thing. This is not my diary. This is the diary of a man who was, for a brief time, mad. He has long since recovered, and I feel now is an appropriate time to share his story with the world in the hope that it may help prevent this (these thoughts) from happening to others. As for the title, it was chosen by the diarist himself after his recovery, and I did not change it.
4/23/00
Today, I borrowed someone else’s joke for my review of American Beauty. Is it plagiarism if the website you got it from no longer exists? What if you just can’t remember the URL?
Two brothers, whose names I need not mention here, were both good friends of mine in high school; but after a separation of many years we gradually lost touch. Some time ago I happened to hear that one of them was seriously ill, and since I was going back to my old home I broke my journey to call on them, I saw only one, however, who told me that the invalid was his younger brother. 'I appreciate your coming such a long way to see us,' he said, 'but my brother recovered some time ago and has gone elsewhere to take up an official post.' Then, laughing, he produced two volumes of his brother's diary, saying that from these the nature of his past illness could be seen, and that there was no harm in showing them to an old friend. I took the diary away, read it through, and found that he had suffered from a form of persecution complex. The writing was most confused and incoherent, and he had made many wild statements; moreover he had omitted to give any dates, so that only by the colour of the ink and the differences in the writing could one tell that it was not written at one time. Certain sections, however, were not altogether disconnected, and I have copied out a part to serve as a subject for medical research. I have not altered a single illogicality in the diary and have changed only the names, even though the people referred to are all country folk, unknown to the world and of no consequence. As for the title, it was chosen by the diarist himself after his recovery, and I did not change it.
4/23/00
Snapple’s website just went offline!

4/23/00
Today, I stopped bothering to put two spaces after sentences. Tomorrow, I will pick my nose in public.

4/23/00
Rewrote my review of Happiness. This version is much better than the last. I don't even recognize it.

4/23/00
I just saw a middle-aged man in a suit walking down the street with headphones on.

4/23/00
I just saw two more! Men. Walking around with headphones on. I think they are listening to music. I think this goes all the way to the top—maybe to like, eighty years old—or more!

4/23/00
Snapple’s website back online!!!

Here are some other internet diaries out there worth checking out.

2007