By the way, this is really real. There's a book out, which you can get directly from me, or just get it from . Or if not, you might also find a copy in your nearest independent book shop, participating natural gas depots and on some finer beaches (strewn). Oh, and also the Queen of England, if you run into her—she has it.

Oh, wait. Another book. Is out. Just came out. Just now. Just like that. I hate you.